Being in grad school doesn’t exempt me from life. People pass away. Friendships are lost. Family stresses me. The unexpected happens. Sometimes they are spaced out. Other times they come back to back. Still other times they come simultaneously. This past month I was hit with a back to back/simultaneous combo. Read More »
This time last year, I began my 4th year as a PhD candidate displaced. I had no mentor, no lab, and no thesis project. I felt betrayed, bullied, and abandoned. I didn’t know what I had done that was so horrible to deserve this.
But I hadn’t done anything to deserve it. The truth is, my program had failed me. I did what I was supposed to. I talked to all the “right” people. I made the requested adjustments. And still, I was in jeopardy of leaving school without my PhD.
Never had Donnie McClurkin’s lyrics felt so real to me:
What do you do when you’ve done all you can
And it seems like it’s never enough?
And what do you say
When your friends [mentors, in my case] turn away
And you’re all alone?
Tell me, what do you give when you’ve given your all
And it seems like you can’t make it through?
Well, you just stand when there’s nothing left to do.
You just stand, watch the Lord see you through.
Yes, after you’ve done all you can,
You just stand.
I didn’t understand at first. You see, patience is not my virtue. In my opinion, standing always symbolized laziness or loitering, basically being unproductive. It never symbolized strength or silently fighting back. . .until now. This time last year, I had nothing else to do except stand and it was the most difficult thing to do. All I wanted to do was hide, lay in bed all day, and cry. I didn’t want to be seen, answer any questions, or explain the situation anymore. But I realized if I ran away from this, that would mean they successfully stole my dream without so much as a peep from me. I would have HANDED my dream over. And I knew I couldn’t do that.
With no energy left in me to fight the enemy, all I could do was stand in his face. So that’s what I did. I went to school every day and sat at my student desk. I’m sure those who tried to tear me down were surprised to see me, but there I was. . .standing in the fire without being consumed.
And sure enough, the Lord began to make a way! Soon I had interviews to find a new lab. My spirit wasn’t fully prepared to fight just yet, but God sent me a sign reminding me that I didn’t have to: all of the opportunities that required too much fight were taken away, leaving a single opportunity to take. Here was my chance to start over.
So in the spirit of starting over: this time last year, I began my 4th year as a PhD candidate on a new project, with new mentorship, and a new spirit. ”You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done”. In a single year, God took me from 0 to 100 (real quick, 😛 ). I am so excited and overwhelmed by the favor He has given/is giving me.
The countdown to graduation has already begun. T-17 months!!! Follow me on this journey to become Dr. Martin as I go through the ups and downs of school life, career development, and personal growth. I know I’m not the only one out there, so I hope my stories can help you too!
©2014 by Ayana Martin
After a wonderful time dancing the night away, we got back with just enough time for a catnap before the next day’s adventure: ZIPLINING! Christina had no idea what was in store. All she knew was there was a harness involved. To keep the nerves away, she began cooking our first breakfast while everyone else got ready. Just as the huevos began to sizzle in the pan, there was a knock on our door and a friendly voice called out to us, “Hola! Que lo que!”
Christina and I were a little startled. Were we that friendly last night and gained a stalker?!? Naaah. So I went outside to see what was going on. The guy introduced himself and explained that he was the transportation that was going to take us to the ziplining transportation. . .a taxi to take us to the taxi? #sketch. I went back inside to check for any email updates from the company that booked our tour and sure enough there was a new email validating his story. The only discrepancy: he was 45 minutes early. He told us there was a change in the ziplining transportation’s schedule and they were already waiting for us, so we must hurry. #facepalm
Christina finished up the eggs as I finished drying my hair and brushing my teeth. Then we switched positions so she could dry her hair and brush her teeth while I put the food away. . .
As we apologetically climbed into the zipline truck, we were greeted by warm smiles (and a wink from the guide Elvio). On the way to Monkey Jungle, the warm wind whipped our hair, the sun melted our worries, and the excitement was additive as we all chatted to calm our nerves. Two girls from Oklahoma were also on their first trip abroad, and they were staying at the resort we were headed to later in our trip, so we were excited to hear their stories. They told us about all the great music and clubs they’d been to and all the great food they had. Assuming the places they were talking about were outside of the resort, we asked if their taxi experience was as crazy as ours. Shockingly, they actually never left the resort for their experiences. They only left for excursions like today, and that transportation was door to door. They had NO IDEA what it was like in the actual city. . .and they didn’t think they were missing out on anything. Seriously?! How can you say you experienced the Dominican Republic without actually leaving the walls that confine you?
Thankfully Elvio gracefully inserted himself into our conversation to avoid the awkward silence that was sure to come. Elvio was intrigued by our expression to experience the true Dominican Republic. His green eyes sparkled as he shared stories about his family and his favorite things to do in the city. He and Christina “clicked” on the topic of baseball. He told us about his son who was a professional baseball player getting ready to sign a US professional contract until he got bit by a mosquito and contracted malaria. Despite the tragedy of the story, he had a jovial outlook on life. He was even looking forward to getting married! Soon! To Christina! Hahahaha He announced his ‘engagement’ to the passengers as we pulled up to Monkey Jungle and told the guides to take extra care of his future wife and ‘sister’-in-law (me).
Monkey Jungle is a 280 acre working farm with nearly a mile of ACCT Certified Zip Line. There are 7 Stations and a free fall fan descender, which drops almost 60 feet into an ancient cave! After Ziplining, there is a tour of a botanical garden with rabbits, peacocks, turkeys, and squirrel monkeys! There is also a large enclosure that houses rescue capuchins who entertain and provide countless memories. The extra special thing about Monkey Jungle is that all proceeds benefit the onsite medical/dental clinic which provides FREE service to the community!
Aside from a great adventure, ziplining was a lesson in letting go. You’re strapped to a cable, on a ledge, and you can’t go anywhere if you don’t take the leap. Sometimes you’re on a ledge that is in the middle of nowehere and you can’t go back to where you were. You can only trust life, let go, and move forward. And when you do that, you might be surprised at how enjoyable the journey is. This is important to overcoming things that may be holding us back in life. Maybe you have the death grip on your comfort zone, or you’re dragging out your latest relationship (job, friend, love included). Whatever has you stuck, you’ve got to let go.
We truly enjoyed the experience at Monkey Jungle. From the jolly Southern-accented, Tennessee-native owner, to the guides nicknamed after celebrities (Eddie Murphy, Will.I.Am, Kobe, Chris Brown, Mariah Carey, and later we met Usher), to feeding the squirrel monkeys, parrots, and rescue ashy-faced owl. . .this experience was more than words could express. So enjoy the pictures and video of our experience!
©2013 by Ayana Martin
After spending way too much time in the grocery store, we finally headed to our humble abode at SunCamp DR Apartments in Munoz, a lovely village just outside Puerto Plata. We had a spacious 2 bedroom apartment with a very comfy living and kitchen area.
As is standard travel customs, we excitedly unpacked then headed out of the room to see who and what was around. After finding No-one and Nothing, we lounged by the river to figure out what to do with the remaining daylight hours. It wasn’t long before adventure found us again. A few minutes into our chat, we heard laughter coming from the front of the complex. Ariel and Silvia, affectionately called “Margarita” by Ariel, were returning from horseback riding (initially we thought her name was really Margarita; he said it so sweetly!). We went out to introduce ourselves and ended up getting invited to a night on the town. Silvia wanted to venture into the city and explore El Malecon – the stretch of street that runs along the edge of the island – and we absolutely wanted to tag along. Plus we were HUNGRY and Hugo, the chef, was not in yet.
So with that, we headed to the taxi stand that would take us into the city. Ruta Munoz was the taxi of choice. It only cost 30 pesos ($0.75) per person and drove a specific route all day long. Perfect! On the short walk to the stand, we couldn’t help but wonder how this was going to work. . .There were a total of 5 of us going (Ariel and our photographer joined us). Obviously we wouldn’t all fit in one car. . .and with no real destination in mind, how would we know where to meet up? Ariel read our minds (or our confused faces) and intruded upon our thoughts:
Ariel: “No problem! We’re all going in the same car.”
Silvia: “Ruta Munoz taxis carry 7 people: 6 passengers plus the driver!”
Us: “Whaaaaat?” Jesus be a fence!
After arriving in El Malecon unscathed, we found a local restaurant and had our first Dominican meal. The food was AMAZING! It was so fresh, very flavorful, and paired perfectly with our El Presidente beers (the national beer). After dinner, we walked down El Malecon and ran into our dessert: Daikiris! As we continued on, with drinks in tow, we found ourselves in a mixture of rhythms and beats blaring from all directions. Parked cars were setting up speakers the size of me. Moving cars had windows all the way down and volume all the way up. Motorcycles didn’t skip a beat either, as they equipped themselves with musical backpacks (aka subwoofers and bungee cords)! This was clearly “la lleca” (slang for “the spot”). And we weren’t just IN the mix, we WERE the mix! With all the wonderful music surrounding us, we couldn’t resist dancing! The police officers hanging out (apparently after work because they weren’t regulating the crazy traffic) enjoyed our salsa 😉 The young boy next to us with his family enjoyed schooling us with his reggaeton moves. And we enjoyed dancing the night away. Silvia even said a few times throughout the night, “Ayana, music is IN your blood!”
We bonded, practiced Spanish, and shared stories. . .mainly our top lessons from the DR thus far:
- The answer to everything is “No problem!”
- Avoid public “Dominican bathrooms” (aka that bush over there) at all costs – even if it means begging the Daikiri lady to let us use her apartment.
- Don’t try the “fries” – especially when the fries are actually lambi and NOT potatoes (but DO try the lambi).
Check out pictures and video of our El Malecon adventures:
©2013 by Ayana Martin
In May 2013, Christina and I embarked on the VERY FIRST Insert(VERB)Here travel project. It was Christina’s first time traveling outside the United States (check our her story here). With nerves in overdrive and excitement on turbo, we dove head first into accomplishing the goals of the travel project:
- Empathy training through complete immersion
- Eliminating stigmas through out of the box experiences
- Public service through volunteer work
As soon as we left the airport, we headed to our first challenge: GROCERY SHOPPING. Now, this first challenge may sound easy. . .and it was intended to be easy. . .but adventure had another idea in mind. Our new amigo Sam took us to the local one-stop-shop “La Sirena” – basically the Dominican Walmart. We only needed food for 3 days (we were heading to an all-inclusive resort later in the week), so we thought this would be a no-brainer.
As it turns out, shopping in a foreign country was more of an experience than we were expecting! For starters, let’s talk about personal space. “Which aisle is that on?” Other shoppers would park their cart and block you in, then proceed to reach over you for their desired food. . .all without ever making eye contact with you and seeing the horror in your face. Those that did make eye contact with you simply smiled and moved on, completely oblivious to your confusion.
Next, let’s address the blinking sign and arrow saying “THE FOREIGNERS ARE HERE!” We became a spectacle (not in a bad way) when our Spanish conversation ended at “chorizo y huevos” and circled the ENTIRE meat department looking for breakfast sausages. We circled several times – feigning looking for other items to feel less lost – until one of the employees had mercy on us and directed us via interpretive dance to the chorizo freezer.
Lastly, the conversions were a beast. This goes for language as well as currency (PhD candidates use calculators too!!). Grocery shopping definitely poked holes and sank our ship S.S. Spanish-We-Thought-We-Knew. Notably, the items that caused us THE MOST grief was SALT and PEPPER! There were 20 versions of salt, minimum, ranging from $40RD to $400RD ($1USD to $10USD)! And mostly salts costing hundreds of $RD (NOTE: the higher price did NOT translate to bulk size, rather American brands -___-). Is it THAT serious? There was no ground black pepper in regular size. There was ground white pepper in regular size or ground black pepper in Feed America size. Good thing our challenge was to try all things Dominican. We just never imagined salt and pepper to be one of them 🙂
After grocery shopping (we’re pretty sure Sam took a nap while waiting for us), we headed to our humble abode: Suncamp DR Apartments! We had our own 2 bedroom apartment with a large living area, kitchen area, and a bathroom to share. The water was warm (most of the time) and the regular bugs stayed outside. The Jurassic bugs somehow snuck in unnoticed. Don’t they always?! It’s like they receive stealth training or something! Fortunately, this only happened the last day of our stay in the apartment. The people at Suncamp were so warm and welcoming! The owner, Diane, was so passionate about helping the community in Munoz. She knew EVERYONE by name and what everyone’s individual needs were. It was clear how priceless she was to the community. Her son Sam and his girlfriend Jen were so down to earth and very cool to hang out with. It immediately felt like we were old friends. Ariel was extremely fun! He was our guide for several of our activities, as you’ll see in the coming stories. And Hugo was just too cool! He was the French chef, with wonderful music taste, who dabbled in photography/videography, and was always willing to have a laugh and a drink with us! Silvia, one of the regular visitors, was super sweet and relatable! (We now have a reason to visit Spain!) But our favorite friend, hands down, was Bobby! Bobby was the sweetest dog who never wanted to leave our side. He was always on welcome duty when we returned from an adventure and was always in chill mode.
Check out the pictures to get an idea of how we got to live in Puerto Plata, DR!
©2013 by Ayana Martin
Oh Em Gee! I know. . .I can’t help but gush right now. It is REALLY happening!
I apologize for the silence leading up to now. You must understand that planning this trip at the same time I am preparing for my PhD candidacy preliminary exam has been torture. But right now, it totally feels worth it!
To update you on happenings and emotions, check out some journal entries from Christina leading to TODAY:
Last week on Wednesday, I had my doctor’s appointment. I woke up feeling uneasy because I have never had to go to the doctor’s to take a trip. I was told to get anti-malarials and a ‘cipro’ antibiotic (stomach meds), plus a checkup to make sure I’m as healthy as I feel. After dropping my daughter off at school, I head over to the doctors office. I am the first person in there. I do all the normal things — co-payment, tell them what I’m there for, and what I want. They call me up and ask me, “Am I only there to get prescriptions?” and I said, “No, I would like a check-up as well, but I’m mainly here for the prescriptions.” Then they told me that my doctor will not prescribe the anti-malarial meds. Huh?!?! I didn’t understand why. I’m going out of the country and the place that I am traveling to has malaria. . .sooooooo. . . why don’t you want to protect my health?? I asked about the antibiotic and they told me that they didn’t know if he will prescribe that either. What the hell is the point of seeing him if I don’t know for sure that he will prescribe me these NECESSARY meds. I was so upset I canceled the appointment before seeing him AND asked for my $20 co-payment back (the struggle is real!). They gave me the money back, but too bad the story doesn’t end there. They advised me to go to Walgreens because they have “travel clinics” that can give me the prescriptions. So I left and went straight there. The Walgreen’s pharmacist told me that they can’t give me meds without a prescription from my doctor (DUH!). I asked about the “travel clinic” and they said that THEY ARE ONLY ON THE EAST COAST. #I’mDone I was so mad because I was already feeling like I was getting the run around. I called the doctor’s office back and told them what happened. They proceeded to give me a number to the “health department” and said that they will give me the pills. Too bad the “health department” was more like “health inspections” as I was informed that they only do kitchens inspections. -________- I was so furious. But I couldn’t help but laugh a little at this run around and I not being able to get these meds. I called the doctor’s office back AGAIN pretty much to tell them about their nonsense goose chase they sent me on. The nurse apologized and told me that she would call me back with other numbers that I could call. I just said nevermind. I was so pissed all I could do is work out. That morning was a disaster. And I couldn’t believe the sh!t that I had to go through to TRY and get the prescriptions for my trip. At this point all I can do is pray I don’t get eaten by mosquitos.
D. R. Trip
Woke up this morning and realized I have 4 days until take off. I am so excited, scared, overjoyed, nervous — just a bottle of mixed emotions. There are a few things that I still need to get for my trip that I am taking care of little by little. The one things that scares me the most is leaving my daughter for a week. I have NEVER been away from her for that long and that truly terrifies me. It is going to break my heart to see the look on her face when I leave. Just thinking about it brings tears to me eyes. But, I will be leaving her my laptop so that we can Skype everyday that I am away. Not only is leaving going to be so hard for me, it’s going to especially be hard on her as well because she won’t be able to call me freely. I have never been unreachable. I will only be able to login to skype when I have internet access and most likely I will not have internet when I’m out on adventures. BUT even though we will Skype everyday that still won’t be enough for the both of us. I will miss hugging her, kissing her, laughing with her, playing with her, just everything about her she is my other half, she completes ME. I know my little one will be safe because she has the best grandparents and that gives me a peace of mind. But for my daughter there is nothing like her MOM so I hope my daughter will be fine without me.
Another thought that crossed my mind and tied up my stomach was flying into international zones. What is it gonna feel like??? Is it gonna feel like anything??? I feel like I am flying to Jupiter or something. I am gonna be on a plane FOREVER. I know I have flown across the country before, but I had a stop in between, so I have never flown 4-5 hours straight. What have I got myself into?? But I know it will all be worth it. An adventure for myself is an opportunity I have NEVER had. I know this trip will be life-changing, giving me a new confidence in myself and capabilities. This is something I will be able to pass on to my daughter, which makes me want to do it even more. I am beyond thankful to InsertVerbHere! Wow. . .4 days!!!
©2013 by Ayana Martin
We have reached our $300 mark!!!! As promised, I would like to introduce you to our Rookie Traveler!
“My name is Christina S. I am 25 years old, the youngest of 4, and new to travel. Growing up, I was terrified to fly because my dad would always say that he hated flying and it installed so many fears in me. My family took many vacations, but no matter how far we went, we ALWAYS drove. I was 22 years old when I got on my first flight and that opened my eyes up to a new world! It made me realize that my parents choice to not fly didn’t have to influence my choice to fly. However, I still have a slight fear of flying out of the country for the first time. But I am excited for this opportunity. I bought my passport JUST FOR THIS TRIP!
This opportunity means so much to me for a couple reasons.
Reason #1: I am a young mom. I was 17, fresh out of high school, and having a baby. This caused me to drop out of college after only one semester in order to find a job to support my daughter. I love being a mom, but single motherhood has brought on many challenges that have caused me to sacrifice many opportunities.
Reason #2: I am out of touch with my heritage. My father is African American and my mother is Honduran. My mother has never taken me to visit Honduras, probably because she has not gone back herself. But she had no desire, so I had no desire. But, it’s worse than that. . .My mom, her extended family, even my two oldest siblings speak fluent Spanish. I have tried for many years and taken many classes, and yet I still am unable to speak the language. Although this trip is to the Dominican Republic and not to Honduras, it is a culture that will make me feel that much closer to my own.
To all of the current backers and future backers of this trip, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! You’re truly changing my life.”
We still need your support to make this trip happen. Every dollar helps and will be rewarded with a gift from Insert(VERB)Here! Check out the video and details in the donation site to learn more. To donate to this project, click here.
©2013 by Ayana Martin